Love One Another
Children are all different, all individual. Even the homes they come from are all different, and that’s actually very wholesome. We all see things differently, and that is healthy. Of course, where there is difference, there will be differences of opinion. That does mean that interactions among children at school are sometimes bumpy. Life isn’t always a smooth sailing journey. That is why we teach children how to respond to conflict in ways that bring success for everyone.
Conflict isn’t nice. We don’t want conflict, and we don’t seek conflict. However, when conflict does happen it allows us as teachers, parents, the adults in the space, to guide children to work through conflicting views in a respectful and Christ-like manner. The great outcome is often that relationships are strengthened. As we adults all know showing tolerance, resolving conflict, making peace and offering acceptance are life-skills that children need to develop as they prepare to enter adulthood. It is a reality that conflict is inevitable and our children won’t always have you their parents, or us their teachers to ‘defend’ them in their workplace, so let’s teach them these life-skills now.
It is crucial to recognise that conflict is different to bullying. Conflict between children is a clash, a disagreement, an interpersonal collision. Sometimes two children just get cranky with each other and there is conflict. Conflict can be resolved. Bullying is a different thing. Bullying is ongoing, repeated, and a deliberate misuse of power in relationships. Bullying is not accepted and once it is proven to be happening, we must step in to stop it.
Helpfully, the Victorian Department of Education updated their policies around school bullying some time back. And here at MCC we have done the same. Here is an excerpt from our ‘Bullying and Harassment Policy’ (it is on our website). These behaviours are bad, but they are not bullying:
1. Peer-to-peer conflict can involve a disagreement without there being an imbalance of power. In other words, conflict itself is not bullying, it is conflict. Unresolved conflict can develop into bullying if one of the parties targets the other repeatedly in retaliation.
2. Single episode acts of unkindness, lack of consideration, nastiness or physical aggression are not bullying. Aggression directed towards many different people is not tolerated, but it is not bullying.
3. Social rejection or dislike in itself is not bullying unless it involves deliberate and ongoing attempts to cause distress, exclude or create dislike by others.
At Melton Christian College we follow the teachings of Jesus. One of His instructions was: “Love one another as I have loved you”. Wow, that is amazing isn’t it.
What a gift it is that our children can learn at school, socially healthy, Bible-based ways to solve conflicts. May I encourage you to join your teachers in teaching children that conflict can be resolved and peace is its own wonderful reward.
jodie vamplew, head of primary